


Love Lost

by PeregrineWilliams



Category: Darker Than Black
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-18 01:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3551129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeregrineWilliams/pseuds/PeregrineWilliams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hei isn't very good at being a contractor.</p>
<p>I just wanted a happier ending for Hei and Misaki alright? This is mostly self-indulgent fluff, post-Hell's Gate, ignoring season 2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Lost

**Author's Note:**

> takes place shortly (like a week or two) after Hell's Gate as if Hei didn't run away at the end of the last episode, just relocated to a different part of the city.

It was supposed to be a routine assassination, but this particular contractor's powers, steel-like extendable nails, were problematic for Hei's fighting style. He couldn't get close enough to electrocute her, and one swipe cut any cables he shot in her direction. Her reflexes rivaled even his, and he already had to abandon his bulletproof coat when she managed to latch onto the tails. the fight lasted longer than was usual for him, and when the flashing lights and sirens started appearing in the street below he began to get desperate. By the time he managed to steal an opening and send a throwing knife into her chest, it was too late. Exhausted as he was, a single shot rang out before he could turn, and he blacked out before even hitting the ground.

 

* * *

 

He woke to the feeling of the barrel of a gun being pressed against his forehead. Opening his still-tired eyes slowly, he gazed expressionlessly up at the chief of police, as he expected. Something wasn’t right though. He wasn’t at the station, or any kind of cold white interrogation room, not even a hospital. He was laying flat on a futon in what looked like a personal apartment, mask and coat gone, tight bandages slightly dulling the pain in his shoulder.

"I have some questions for you, BK-201," she said firmly, voice pitched to command the authority that her job granted her, different than how she had spoken when him had spent that day off with her as civilians. Come to think of it, maybe the two of them weren’t very different in that respect after all.

He took a slow breath and stared at the blank ceiling, something in him that could still feel managing a pang of disappointment that she was using that voice with him. Though, rationally, why wouldn’t she? He was her most wanted criminal after all. To think she would treat him any differently than her other contractor targets didn’t make any sense, and yet that disappointment remained. If she _was_ acting rationally, however, why was he here and not already in a maximum security prison cell? Was this some sort of trap?

"Who are you really?" she asked, in a slightly softer tone, though still her police voice. His eyes flicked to hers, trying to read her, understand what she could gain from asking this question. She knew would have known everything they Syndicate had on him by now, wouldn’t she?

"I was Syndicate Agent codename Hei," He replied calmly.

"And who is Li?"

His brow furrowed slightly. “A stolen identity. A persona I adopted to be able to live an unassuming life between jobs. But he’s not needed anymore.”

"Because you don’t work for the Syndicate anymore?"

"Yes."

"So who was that contractor you were trying to kill and why?"

"She was another Syndicate Agent. I was trying to eliminate the ones left, those who didn’t quit after the Hell’s Gate incident, and loosen the Syndicate’s hold on the rest of the contractors."

She paused, looking at him critically as he had before, probably trying to tell if he was telling the truth, maybe searching for Li in his eyes somewhere. It must have been somewhat or a nasty shock for her once she had connected all the dots.

"… Why did you save me?"

He looked back at the ceiling, suddenly finding it hard to maintain her eye contact. “I don’t kill innocent people. I never have. The Syndicate only ever sent me after other murderers and dealers anyways. You’re a good cop. This city benefits from you.”

She shook her head and pressed the barrel a little harder to his forehead. He noticed now the rubber glove she was holding it with, preventing any attempts at electrocuting her through the contact. “You didn’t just ‘not kill’ me. You very clearly risked your own life, more than once, to save mine. Not to mention you must have known I would try to take you down too if I got the chance. You’re not an idiot, so you must have had a pretty good reason for that, especially since you’re a contractor. Plus you managed to use Li to get close to me. Was I one of your missions or something? Did the Syndicate want you to keep an eye on me? Get information from me?”

"No. I never had any mission involving you. Besides, it was _you_ who kept finding _me_. I was trying to stay away from you and not give myself away when you were watching me so closely.”

"Then why did you save me?" she asked a bit louder, her voice hard again. "Avoiding killing innocents when it suits you can account for your other actions, but not that."

His mouth tensed into a firm line and he didn’t answer.

"Tell me the truth," she said dangerously.

He closed his eyes and let out a small sigh, wincing slightly as it jarred his shoulder. “You really want the truth?”

"Yes."

His brow softened again and the corner of his mouth twitched up slightly. “I had fun on our date.”

She stared at him hard for at least a full minute, before sighing and slowly lowering her gun. “I almost wish I could trust you, you know.”

"I have no rational reason to lie. You know for a fact that I’m no ally of the Syndicate. I even have a personal vendetta against them now."

She holsters her gun and carefully starts unwrapping his bandage. “Revenge isn’t very rational you know. Neither is risking your life for innocents.”

"I guess I never was very good at being a contractor."

She smiles a little at that, and when she tells him to lift his arm a bit so she can get the bandage off, her voice sounds more like Misaki’s than Chief Kirihara’s.

"Can I ask _you_ a question?” Hei says carefully as she starts wrapping him with the fresh bandage she retrieved from a cupboard across the room.

"Alright. As long as it’s not about classified police information."

"Why did _you_ save me?”

She stops unwrapping the bandage and stares at her hands.

Hei continues, “You did shoot me, but then you take me here and dress the wound yourself, instead of taking me to the police station or hospital, where they would have found out and arrested me at some point. You’ve been trying to catch me for years, and then you had me, unconscious, and didn’t take me in.”

Misaki resumes rewrapping the bandage with a thoughtful expression. “I guess… because I had fun on our date too.” Hei stared at her genuinely surprised, and then it was her turn to shy away from eye contact. At least until his stomach suddenly growled loudly. “Your massive appetite. Right.” Misaki laughed, and got up to go to the kitchen to cook a large amount of ramen.

Hei let his head rest further back on the futon and tried to will the pain and hunger away, at least for a while. When he was able, he should probably try to let Yin know where he was so she wouldn’t worry. Maybe his transmitter was still in his jacket, wherever Misaki had put it. He would ask her once she came back.

She returned later and brought his transmitter as requested, allowing him to send a quick message, then retrieved some extra pillows to help prop him up so he could eat.

She watched as he wolfed down the noodles into his black hole of a stomach, just like back in the restaurant she went with him to, and wondered if it was a payment of some sort for being a contractor. Running the day through her head again, she had never observed him doing anything else overly unusual.

"Li isn’t really all that different from Hei, is he?" He looks up from his noodles with that furrowed brow again, but she continues. "Hei smiles less and is more controlled, more haunted. Like Li but more matured, almost."

Hei finishes the last bowl and sighs. “I suppose, Li could be what I would have been, if I had never become a contractor.”

She nods slowly, watching him a little longer before she stands and collects the bowls. “I have to go to work, and you need rest. Don’t try to escape while I’m gone, alright? Or do I have to chain you to something so you won’t strain yourself?”

Hei smiles, just slightly. “I wouldn’t dream of getting on Chief Kirihara’s bad side. She could shoot me or something.”

Misaki grins back at him a little sheepishly. “You can’t deny, you kind of deserved that.”

"You’re welcome for saving your life, by the way."

"You’re just lucky I liked you enough to break my perfect, honest cop record for you. Now sleep. I’ll be back later." Realising a little too late what she had just admitted to, she quickly pulled on her suit jacket and left, locking the apartment behind her.

 

* * *

 

When she returned to the apartment that evening, he was gone. Obviously. How could she have been so stupid. He must have called his partner - Yin, she thought she heard him say into his transmitter - to come pick him up. Why wouldn’t he escape? It’s not as if he would actually have trusted her not to turn him in, just like she didn’t completely trust him not to turn around and kill her as soon as he got the chance.

She groaned in frustration at herself and searched the apartment for anything that could point to where he had gone, though she didn’t even know what she would have to gain from tracking him down _again_.

When she opened her closet, however, his mask and bulletproof coat were hanging there just like she left them. Why would he leave without his belongings? Unless…

She did another quick sweep of her apartment, then pulled the curtains back from her living room window, and exhaled in relief. He was there, sitting on her balcony wrapped in a thick blanket, gazing up at the night sky. Well, at least she knew now his fascination with stars hadn’t been a lie either. She wanted to believe most of the things he had said to her weren’t lies.

She went back to the kitchen and ordered an absurd amount of pizza, then changed out of her suit into more comfortable clothes and brought a blanket out to the balcony with him.

"You didn’t escape," she remarked as she sat down beside him.

"Guess you won’t have to shoot me again," he said, attention still on the stars.

She rolled her eyes, “Are you ever going to let that go?”

"Depends on how long you’re going to keep me around."

Misaki opened her mouth to reply, but shut it again. She looked out at the city and thought about it, but for once she didn’t really have a plan on what to do with him. Wait until he was healed up and then let him run off like nothing happened? Well… she would cross that bridge when she came to it.

"By the way, judging from the lack of cops swarming the building, it seems you decided not turn me in either," Hei countered, resting his head back on the glass and looking at her now.

"Guess you won’t have to electrocute me again."

That earned a bit of a grin from him. It was different than how she remembered Li smiling: smaller, slightly more crooked. Though, thinking back on it now, she really should have noticed how Li’s smiles never really reached his eyes.

"No promises," he said with something almost like a smirk as he turned back to the sky. "So how was work today, Chief Kirihara?"

She sighed, “Boring mostly, lots of files to review, trying to separate legitimate police information from things the Syndicate had planted to cover up their operations.”

Hei nodded in understanding, and she continued on, telling stories about her co-worker’s antics from the week, finally starting to feel relaxed around him again. Li had been a good listener too.

The doorbell rang and she went to retrieve the pizzas, bringing them out to the balcony to scarf down again. She asked him to tell her about something, and between bites he reminisced about his other partners, Huang and Mao, who had died on the day of the Hell’s Gate incident. His voice was emotionless as always, but his expression changed as he kept his eyes fixed on the stars, and she wondered if it really was true what he said about not being very good at being a contractor.

 

* * *

 

Hei woke up slowly to the unusually loud bustle of the city below, and realised that it was now morning and he was still wrapped in a blanket and sitting on Misaki’s balcony. The empty pizza boxes were still out here too. They must have talked so long he didn’t even remember falling asleep. His injured shoulder ached from the awkward position, but on his other side… Misaki was still there, unconsciously pressed against him for warmth, head resting on his shoulder, glasses askew, breathing calmly and evenly.

He was unsure of how to react for a moment, but decided on carefully putting his arm around her and pulling the blanket up higher on her shoulders. She didn’t stir at all, so he risked resting his head against hers and closing his eyes again. He couldn’t really remember the last time he had been close to another person like this, and not a dangerous contractor, not in the middle of a mission.

What was it really, about her, that made him actually care? Because he did care, an irrational amount about her, despite how desperately he always tried to repress any emotion. He actually felt comfortable around her, despite being one of the last people he _should_ be comfortable around.

Maybe it was just because, on that date, he almost felt like he could be a normal human again.

Misaki finally stirred a bit, but before he could quickly remove his arm from around her shoulders her hand sleepily found his and held on. He lifted his head off hers as she blinked awake, and then hurriedly looked around and cursed under her breath. “I can’t believe I actually fell asleep out here… oh, sorry,” she said, slightly embarrassed as she released his hand.

"I didn’t mind," he assured her.

She turned her head to look up at him questioningly, through her still-crooked glasses. He didn’t look back, but offered his hand. She hesitated a moment, but slipped her hand back into his, resting her head against his good shoulder again.

"…Hei?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you want to go out and get something to eat with me again sometime? As Hei this time, I mean, not Li."

He was silent for a moment. “You would want that?” When she nodded, he pondered for a moment longer. “I suppose I’ll have to come up with some other name to introduce myself with then.”

"We’ll figure something out," she smiled as she stood and stretched herself out, then turned to help him to his feet. His stomach growled and she hurried off to the kitchen with a laugh to start on frying some eggs.

Hei wandered in after her, putting the blankets back where he had found them, and sought out her medication stash in the bathroom to take a few pain pills. He joined her at the table for breakfast once it was ready, after which she quickly dressed and left for work. He smiled and waved her off, thinking he might be able to get used to this pretty quickly, and wishing he wouldn’t.

 

* * *

 

Though Hei could heal faster than a normal human, it was still a few days later before he was finally strong enough to take her up on her dinner offer. She bought a comfortable sling for his arm and some new casual clothes, then took him down the elevator to a restaurant on the floor level of the apartment complex. She had done her hair up differently than usual, less tightly. He noticed and commented on her finally loosening up. She retaliated that he should try it sometime.

Dinner was nice and comfortably uneventful, aside from the obvious inquiries about Hei’s injury (skiing accident, she told them) and amazement of his appetite. He held her hand as they returned to the room, helping him undress a ways again so she could change his bandages before bed. She stopped before helping him to put his shirt back on, though, and stood facing him but looking at the floor until he was about to ask if something was wrong.

"Hei?"

"Yeah?"

"I was just thinking, I mean, my bed is probably more comfortable than the futon, so if you would rather sleep there then you could."

He tried not to act too surprised or happy. “Alright, Miss Kirihara. Thank-you.”

She leaned forward a bit more until her forehead rested against his good shoulder, and he could feel her slight smile against it. “You can call me Misaki, you know.”

"Alright, Misaki." He raised his good arm to her hair and gently pulled out the clips and elastics, setting them down on the table with his old bandages. She breathed deeply in his shoulder and slowly wrapped her arms around his waist in a hug. Her touch was warm to his bare skin, but he still had to suppress a shiver. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes. I think it is," she said after a minute, dropping her arms again. "Thanks for going with me tonight."

"Misaki…" Hei started quietly, and she looked up, waiting for his question. He raised his hand back up to her hair, and tilted her head up slightly more before softly pressing his lips to hers.

He backed off quickly afterwards and looked away, but she reached up around his neck and pulled him back. He held her close with his good arm and kissed a little deeper at her urging, feeling her fingers tangle in the hair on the back of his neck. She pulled back after a while, smiling at him, and he couldn’t help but to reciprocate.

She took his hand again and lead him to her bed, shutting off the lights as she went, and helped him ease down gently to the mattress. He reached out for her and she settled down in the crook of his arm, pulling the blanket over them comfortably. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes, feeling the most content he had in a very long time.

 

* * *

 

"So…?"

A week later on her next day off, Misaki was fulfilling her promise of another shopping trip with Kanami, especially since she had been essentially ignoring her for the past while. She was beginning to regret it though, since she _wouldn’t stop pestering her._

"So what?" Misaki said casually

"So tell me what’s going on already!" she finally asked outright with a groan. "Come onnn I need details! I know something’s going on, you’ve been smiling at random times all week and I know your cases haven’t even been going that well." She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "Did you get laid or something."

Misaki spluttered and dropped a hanger, blushing. “What? No.”

Kanami clapped her hands over her mouth in glee. “You did, didn’t you? I’m so proud of you.”

“ _No,_ I didn’t get laid,” she hissed. “I… might have a boyfriend though, if you absolutely must know. Don’t go spreading it around though, okay?”

"Wait really? Are you serious? Who is he? Tell me everything."

Misaki sighed, “Alright, fine. You remember that one guy we met in the lingerie store a few months ago?”

"Whoa no way, you scored _that_ hottie? I knew it. I _knew it._ Didn’t I know it?”

"Yes, congratulations, you knew it."

"So do you see him often then?"

"Umm… yeah, he’s kind of… living in my apartment. For a while at least."

"Damn, that’s like serious then. Way to go Misaki!" she clapped her on the back.

"Yeah… I suppose it is," she said quietly as she returned to looking through the racks.

"So where is he now?"

"Oh just out visiting his… sister."

 

* * *

 

Misaki returned to her apartment complex with her shopping bags and rode the elevator up to her floor. As soon as she stepped out however, a hand clapped across her mouth and pulled her back inside.

She was about to elbow her kidnapper in the ribs when she heard Hei’s voice whisper in her ear, “It’s alright. It’s me.” He let her go and pressed the button for the main floor again. She noticed he was dressed up casually and had a duffel bag over his uninjured shoulder.

"What’s going on?" Misaki asked seriously. Hei had on the hard expression she was used to seeing on him when he was in combat, so she knew now wasn’t the time to berate him for surprising her like that.

"There’s someone in your apartment. A contractor, I’m pretty sure. No doubt sent by the Syndicate to either make sure you were keeping your nose out of their business, or searching for me, or both. I don’t think they’ll damage anything, they were moving like they wanted there to be no evidence that they were even there. When I heard them in another room I grabbed my things and made it out to the hallway before they noticed me, I think. I’m sorry, I couldn’t risk engaging them in my current condition since even if I beat them I couldn’t guarantee their elimination, and if they escaped they would report that you had been helping me, and start coming after you too."

Misaki listened and nodded slowly as the elevator descended. “No, that was the best course of action given the circumstances. At least they must not know already that I’m helping you or they wouldn’t have sent a spy like that, so that’s good to know. And, if their spy comes back with nothing and doesn’t know we’re on to them they’ll be less likely to send another one. It would probably be better not to return there for a few days though…”

"That’s what I was about to ask. Do you have any other place to stay that they wouldn’t be able to find in your records?"

"Hmm… there is a rudimentary safehouse apartment set up for emergencies that only I and a few other cops on my team know about, and just the ones I actually trust, mind you, not anyone in the higher command. It should be fine as long as none of them happen to have an emergency at the same time, but even if one of them does come knocking I’ll probably be able to explain in a way that they’ll be on our side."

"If you think it will be fine, then I trust your judgement."

She glanced up at him, mildly surprised, and then the door opened and he put on his friendly Li face, taking her arm and walking through the lobby in the guise of a perfectly average couple. She played along and lead him back to her car.

He sat in silence as she drove, though she could tell that he too was watching the mirrors to make sure they weren't being followed. She wondered offhand how long it had been for him, running and hiding from everything. Was he only inducted into the Syndicate's service a few years ago, or had he been living this life from his childhood? Well, she thought, the incident in South America most likely had something to do with the Syndicate, and BK-201 had been active there, so since then at least...

She pulled her car into the small old apartment complex, and after he confirmed they hadn't been followed, she lead Hei up to the room and opened the door for him. It was much smaller than her own apartment and it was obvious no one had been here for a while, but it was clean and stocked just fine. Hei gave the rooms a quick look-over and then started rooting through the cupboards for food supplies.

Misaki set her shopping bags down and reclined in one of the chairs around the small dining table as Hei started cooking. "Do you need some help with that?"

He shook his head. "It's fine. I can move my arm now and it really needs the exercise. You've been out all day anyways." He cracked a bit of a smile, "And dealing with that talkative friend of yours for so long along with a kidnapping threat and a safehouse run probably didn't help your energy levels."

"Hey she's not so bad... mostly..." thought at the rate Kanami shopped she had been pretty exhausted by the end of it. "How did things go with Yin?"

"She's fine. She's having an extended sleepover with a friend, who's pretty thrilled to have her. Remember that girl who works with the awful detective who asked us about the old stars?" When Misaki nodded, he continued, "Having a normal not-Syndicate-related friend her age is good for her, I think. And if anything goes wrong she can contact me easily."

"You seem to be in a pretty good mood for just having escaped a contractor," she commented as she rested her elbows on the table and watched him cook.

"Hmm? Well... I guess I am. We're all safe so far and we know the Sydicate doesn't already know about what happened to me so we'll probably be safe for a while, and I'm feeling so much better today that I could decrease my pain meds. I'm just glad for the progress."

"Well you should try the smiling thing more often. It looks good on you."

"Does it now?" his smile took a turn for a slight smirk as he set a bowl of noodles in front of her. She nodded matter-of-factly with a slight quirk to her eyebrow as he sat to eat his own noodles across from her. "But that could ruin my reputation as heartless assassin."

She scoffed. "Well just only do it around me then." She had a bite of noodles halfway to her mouth before she stopped, realising how intimate that had sounded.

To her surprise though, he just smiled softer again and said, "I think I can do that."

She smiled back slightly and followed though on her bite of noodles. They both finished off their larger-than-average meals in a comfortable silence. Hei cleaned up the dishes and went to stretch out on the bed in the adjacent room, beginning a round of meticulous shoulder exercises.

Misaki sighed and picked up her bags again. "Well, thanks for the noodles. I'll see you tomorrow."

His head snapped up. "You're leaving?"

"Well yes I had planned to..."

"But it's not safe," he said insistently.

"It's not safe for _you_ out there. I'll be fine. There was nothing incriminating in my apartment." At his silent frown, she set her bags down again and crossed her arms. "What's the problem?"

He sighed, "I just expected you to be here. I can't defend myself like this, and if someone finds this place I doubt I'll be able to get away like I did at your apartment..."

"You're... scared of being here alone?"

He hesitated, "I... admit I'm a little uneasy about it."

She smiled a little and sat down on the bed beside him. "Alright Mr. Heartless Assassin, I'll stay and protect you from the scary monsters in the dark."

He smirked and flopped back on the bed again. "My hero."

She rolled over to lay on her stomach beside him and propped herself up on her elbows. "Hei, can I ask you a question?"

He hummed thoughtfully. "Well, you don't have a gun against my forehead this time, so I guess I have the option to say no, don't I?"

She rolled her eyes. "Maybe I did like you better as BK-201. You were less snarky."

"The same could be said of you, Chief," he grinned. "But sure, ask away."

"It's just, sometimes you say you're bad at being a contractor as if you're not actually a contractor..."

His grin died instantly and he was silent for a few minutes. "Well, at Hell's Gate I sort of found out I wasn't. Not entirely."

She frowned. "How is that possible?"

"I'm not sure exactly, it's a long story. I guess I'm sort of half-contractor, in a way, but it's not an integral part of who I am, like the others."

"You're saying your emotional capacity is the same as that of a regular human's?"

"Yes, or if not, then pretty close."

"And it was always that way?"

He nodded. "I was doing this kind of work before everything happened so I admit I was already somewhat emotionally stunted. When I received my powers, obviously I was labeled a contractor, and so I had to act like one. Not to mention I thought I was one too and it was how I was supposed to be. After a while I got pretty good at it, and it was easier, you know, doing all the things I was ordered to, when I pretended to have no emotions. I'm not particularly proud of that nowadays, but I did what I had to do."

Misaki nodded soberly as he continued, "But then I started making real friends with some of the members of my team, and it was a lot harder not to care, and I started slipping up more often and getting really bad at it."

"Well you don't really have to pretend anymore, do you?"

"I guess not," he sighed and smiled softly up at her. "Which is good because I'm being an absolutely horrible contractor right now."

"Oh? How so this time?"

"I... well, I seem to have really fallen for you."

Misaki scrutinized him, trying to determine if he was joking or not, but he just looked a little sad, not meeting her gaze. She hesitated for just a moment, but then crawled over closer to him, touching the side of his face gently with her hand. She tipped it towards her and softly pressed her lips to his, then brushed his hair away and smiled at him. "That's alright, you know."

He smiled back sadly. "Well it's more than a little complicated, being who we are. I wouldn't want you to lose your job because of me."

"I think I'm already past the point of losing my job if anyone found out what I've done to help you."

He stared at her critically for a long moment. "If you're really okay with this, I'm willing to keep silent about it."

She shrugged. "Who knows, maybe you'll witness a crime someday and I'll be able to grant you your freedom for critical information. Maybe, someday, things could work out."

"I'll wait for that day if you will."

"Is that a promise?"

"Definitely," he said, tipping his head up to kiss her again.

She kissed him back, a little deeper this time as his hands started wandering. As she melted into him and the bliss of the moment overtook her, she thought that even if this all ended up horribly wrong, she wouldn’t trade the experience for the world.

Maybe it would really be better to love and lose, rather than to never love at all.


End file.
